


One Reason

by Willofhounds



Category: Star Wars - All Media Types, Star Wars Legends: Knights of the Old Republic (Video Games)
Genre: Alternate Universe - Canon Divergence, Cross-Posted on FanFiction.Net, Cutting, Gen, Good Kavar, Good Revan, Goodish Master Vrook, M/M, Master & Padawan Relationship(s), Master Kavar - Freeform, Padawan Jedi Exile, Post-Traumatic Stress Disorder - PTSD, Self Confidence Issues, Self-Harm
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2021-03-19
Updated: 2021-03-22
Packaged: 2021-03-28 09:26:55
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 2
Words: 3,966
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/30137436
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Willofhounds/pseuds/Willofhounds
Summary: AU of both Knight of the Old Republic games. Eventual m/m. Lukas Lambert a young padawan is someone who can hide his presence completely. A Master returning from the battlefront he seeks to calm the young padawan who caught his attention. He seeks to understand the boy. Lukas looks for one reason to stay and trust a new master.
Relationships: Carth Onasi/Male Revan, Male Jedi Exile/Kavar, Revan & Bastila Shan, Revan/The Jedi Exile (one sided), The Jedi Exile & Atton "Jaq" Rand, The Jedi Exile & Kavar, The Jedi Exile & Revan, The Jedi Exile/Kavar
Comments: 8
Kudos: 2





	1. The padawan part 1

Warnings: Eventually m/m between mc and Kavar

Kavar's POV 

It was rare to find him on Dantooine outside of Council meetings. More often than not he was dealing with conflicts and acting as negotiator. As the youngest Weapon's Master his services were well sought after. Due to this he rarely saw a break and had about burned himself out on missions. 

That was what led for him to ask that he be given a month's break from mission. Short of it being an emergency that had to be resolved immediately he was not leaving Dantooine. Maybe while he was here he would find an apprentice to work with. 

While not interested in taking a padawan he wouldn't mind guiding a young apprentice. It would start them down the path of possibly becoming a Weapon's Master. Padawans were too much work and time for him. His busy schedule rarely allowed him time for himself much less another living being. 

Currently he was headed to the Training Halls to visit Vrook. The old master had requested his presence as soon as he landed. What for was anyone's guess. If Kavar had to guess it was likely due to the brewing war between the Republic and the Mandalorians. 

A peace missions was what he had just returned from. Failed negotiations between the two parties showed increased hostilities. Soon it would break out into all out war. 

The Jedi Council had already decided against interfering. They would allow the Republic to deal with the Mandalorians on their own. It was not the Jedis responsibility to act as warriors. 

It was not something he agreed with but Kavar would not go against the will of the Council. They made their decisions for a reason. Something not all of the younglings understood if their eyes were any indication. 

Out of all the younglings and younger Knights or padawans he suspected that Revan and Malak would go against the Council. Their charisma would allow others to follow them. How many would stay was the question. Not how many would follow. 

As he entered the Training Halls he noted there was a padawan speaking with Vrook. The padawan was human with dirty blond hair. He was tall close to six foot with lean muscle. Without seeing his face Kavar would guess the padawan was in his late teens or early twenties. Most likely getting last minute instruction before he took his trials. 

Something that surprised him was how muted the boy's presence was. It was as if he wasn't really there. An odd thing to think given that Kavar could see him with his own eyes. 

Then the boy turned as if sensing his curious eyes. The deepest blue eyes he had ever seen met his own sky blue. It took a long moment but he felt recognition go through him. 

The one he thought to be in his late teens was still just a child. At just 16 standard years Lukas Lambert a prodigy much like Revan was though much quieter. If Kavar remembered correctly he was well on his way to becoming a guardian. 

Kavar also remembered how bright of a presence the boy used to have. That no matter how much they tried to teach him control it stayed just as bright as ever. What happened to dull it so significantly?

Lambert bowed as he greeted, "Master Kavar. If you will excuse me I have duties to attend."

With that the boy disappeared. When he was out of sight Kavar could no longer sense his presence. It was as if he was gone completely from the world. 

Kavar said pointing to the door the boy disappeared out of, "That's not normal. What happened to Padawan Lambert?"

Vrook said pinching the bridge of his nose in a rare show of agitation, "He's been like that since the loss of his master two years ago. Tracking him down is next to impossible. To even meet with him you have to find him during training times."

Kavar questioned hiding his wince of sympathy for the boy, "Why not send him to soul healers? Surely they could do something for him?"

"Tried that," sighed Vrook, "He wont open up to them in the Force or otherwise. And they wont force the issue as you well know. Trying to pair him with another master has ended in disaster several times. Honestly the Council doesnt know what else to do with him."

Oh no. Kavar had a sneaking suspicion now of why the Council agreed so easily his request. They wanted him to take on a padawan and here was one no one that no one could control. 

"No," denied the younger master immediately. 

Vrook raised an eyebrow as he said, "I havent asked anything of you, yet."

Kavar reaffirmed, "You dont have to. I know the games you and the others like to play. The answer is absolutely not. I have no intentions of now or ever taking a padawan."

Vrook replied calmly, "That's what we all say. At least while you're here look at them. There might be one or two who'll surprise you. Maybe even enough to change your mind."

Lambert's POV 

It was interesting to see Kni... well Master now, Kavar again. At ten years his senior Kavar had just been Knighted when Lukas entered the temple. More than once during his early training the man had taken to instructing him personally. 

Kavar to date has never taken a student and before Lukas's master's murder he would have wanted Kavar to be it. His master had been murdered by fellow Jedi Masters. They had seen his potential in the ability to hide himself. To make his presence invisible unless he was right on top of them. 

Revan and Alek was one of the few people he respected. It wasnt trust but Lukas did allow them to get close. Far closer than anyone could say they were allowed. 

Vrook didnt exactly like him but he did try to help Lukas. The young man didnt allow Vrook to try. No one wanted to understand him. All they wanted was to fix what was "wrong" with him in their eyes. 

More than once Vrook tried to force him to see mind healers. While he went to the meetings he refused to say anything. It annoyed the masters but they couldnt force him to speak. There was no telling which masters worked with the one's that killed his master. They would do everything they could to get him to cooperate.

Lukas was heading towards one of the lesser used training rooms. This particular room also had a variety of different melee weapons. Besides his lightsaber his favorite weapon a vibrosword. 

Using the little known hallways he swiftly made his way to the training room. Immediately Lukas discarded his robe so that he was in his black tshirt and pants. Then he unhooked his lightsaber. 

Taking up the first Soresu kata Lukas went through the motions. Soresu rarely saw any practice anymore. It was developed during the widespread emergence of blasters as an offensive weapon.

Lukas was still unsure if he would be joining Revan in his determination to help the Republic. It did not hurt to be prepared however. 

Moving through the form's katas he fell into the Force. It was an awkward, painful embrace as he avoided using the Force for the most part. Avoiding the Force was becoming harder and harder. 

Lukas's relationship with it had become strained ever since lost his master. Pain always laced through him when he fell into the Force. Images flashed through his mind with the fear. Blaster fire sung in his ears and his lightsaber flashed trying to block it.

So lost in his own pain and visions he did not hear door open. He could hear yells from a familiar voice. That was Revan. He was barking orders to people he couldn't see. 

Something came at Lukas and immediately he switched from Soresu to Makashi. Fluidly he blocked several strikes that he couldn't see. He blocked strikes that were not of a lightsaber for. Instead it was seemed to be that of a vibroblade. 

Suddenly a presence encased his within the Force. It was unfamiliar and he struggled against it. What? Who? No he couldn't allow this to happen. 

Lukas raised his lightsaber blindly against the other. Then he felt it be pulled from his gasp. 

A voice called out firmly, "Lambert... Lambert... Lukas!"

The use of his given name brought him out of the vision. Images were blinked away and he found Kavar standing there. In the man's hand was Lukas's lightsaber unlit. The two shades of blue eyes clashed as Lukas tried to remember where he was. This was another reason that he trained so far away from everyone else. He feared that he would hurt someone on accident. 

He demanded with a growl, "Return my lightsaber, Master Kavar. You should not have startled me like that."

The Force presence shifted and the doors to the room shut and were locked. A deep growl escaped Lukas that didnt seem to gaze the Weapon's Master. Instead the man's presence returned to encase him. 

The master said calmly but firmly, "I'm afraid not youngling. I can see that it is not safe to allow you to roam the halls as you are. You could very well hurt someone in your state."

Lukas's eyes narrowed as he snapped, "You have no right to stop me."

"Actually I do," returned the man easily, "As a Master I have a duty to protect the younglings including yourself. So we will stay in here until you've calmed down."

"I am calm," ground out Lukas. 

Kavar said as his Force presence ran over him, "No you're not. I can feel your agitation and fear."

Bastard! He was the same as everyone else! He didnt want to understand Lukas and why he acted as he did. All he wanted was to change him. 

Kavar clipped Lukas's lightsaber onto his belt next to his own. Slowly he moved to where the practice swords were. He pulled out two wooden blades and threw one to Lukas who caught it easily.

Then he explained, "If you can knock me down then I'll let you leave. Otherwise you're not leaving until you're calm."

Fine if that's how he wanted to play then he would play. The padawan lunged at Kavar who sidestepped him. A gentle touch to his hip corrected his form. 

There was another strike that was blocked easily by the Weapons Master. It was followed swiftly by a form correction. The two fell easily into Makashi and gentle corrections followed. Lukas's presence in the Force calmed as they practice blades cracked against each other. 

Kavar suddenly stepped within his guard throwing off his tempo. He was knocked off his feet by the master. Lukas jumped back up to his feet and their swords cracked again. Their swords cracked again and Kavar went back to correcting his form. 

Breathing slowed as he stepped back and took a defensive stance. Kavar smiled gently as his own stance changed becoming more offensive. He struggled to block the strikes as he was surprised by the man's strength. 

Kavar still called out his corrections to Lukas's form. The two continued to circle and each other. More than once he had to block a quick strike. The burning of his arms kept his mind sharp. 

Then Kavar stepped away lowering his sword. He smiled and gently said, "There you're calm now."

Lukas felt the presence unlock the doors and hesitantly stayed away from him. For a moment he glanced at the door considering his option. Then he fell back into he defensive stance. 

Kavar's presence showed his surprise but he returned to his own stance. Then once again they were sparring and Lukas received gentle corrections.


	2. The padawan part 1

Warnings: Self harm

Special thanks to Cat_Tac and Calvera_Draconis for aiding with the triggers. 

Lambert's POV 

What had he been thinking when he continued to spar with Kavar? The man was just like everyone else. All they wanted was to change who he was. Not accept him. No one wanted to understand why he was as he was.

Master Zhar was watching him with faint amusement glinting in his eyes. The old Twi'lek had watched him since he was a young apprentice. In fact he had helped Lukas's master choose him as a padawan. 

Master Shioon had been the only one to understand him. He wasnt afraid to get close to Lukas. Nor was he afraid of how easy making bonds came to the young padawan. Out of everyone he had come across Shioon was the most accepting of his eccentricities. Lukas could remember the day that he was asked to become the other's padawan just like it was yesterday. 

Flashback 

As usual he was in the library gathering what knowledge he could. While his classes were over for the week there was always something new to be found. That and he was kicked out of the training rooms an hour ago. Master Zhar said three hours was long enough for someone so young. He hoped to learn about ship mechanics this weekend. As long as Master Vrook didn't stumble across him again. 

Lukas hid a smile behind his hand at the thought of what happened the week before. Vrook had been pranked by younger apprentices. They had set up a glitter trap on the master's favorite training rooms. 

Of course Lukas being one of the few major pranksters within the temple meant he was the prime suspect. Vrook had launched into one of his many tirades in the library. He was so loud the historian had kicked them both out. Council member or not everyone was subject to her will. 

A shadow stepped up to his table and Lukas said without looking up from his book, "You're welcome to sit down. Just dont disturb my reading."

A chuckle resounded that caused Lukas to look up. He paled at the sight of the almost six foot Jedi Knight. Shioon was a senior Knight considered to be close to taking a padawan. Many of the older apprentices were trying to get his attention. They constantly sparred with each other hoping that he would ask them. So far he didnt seem interested in any of the current apprentices. 

Lukas got to his feet and bowed as he apologized, "Knight Shioon pardon my rudeness. Do you need this table?"

Shioon shook his head as he replied, "No I dont need the table. I was in fact hoping to talk to you however."

Lukas stiffened as he asked, "About what?"

Surely this couldnt be about what he was reading? The masters encouraged expanding one's knowledge. Even if they thought him a little strange surely they wouldnt begrudge him reading on mechanics. 

Shioon folded his arms as he said, "You've most likely heard the rumors that I am looking for a padawan," of course it was the talk of the temple, "The rumors are true."

Lukas narrowed his eyes. The point of this was what? He was still a young apprentice. Most masters wouldnt look his way for awhile longer. He had only been in the temple since he was nine. Picked up off of Lothal he was a later student than normal. 

Vrook thought him too old but the other masters pointed out they had taken older students before. So he had been accepted into the temple to begin his training. 

Knight Shioon said with a roll of his eyes, "I was hoping you would do me the honor of becoming my Padawan. I know you havent been in the temple for long. Only three years or so but all the masters speak highly of you. They say your skill with a lightsaber is on par with apprentices have been in the temple longer."

Lukas turned his head to the side as he questioned, "Why me? There are plenty of older apprentices who would jump at the chance."

On instinct he prepared to fade away his Force presence. Shioon's eyes sharpened as if he felt what the boy was trying to do. 

Shioon declared, "That's why. I want to expand upon your natural instincts to do that."

"Why?"

"Because I can see who you will become," answered easily the man, "and the trials you will face. Let me help you become that person. Will you become my padawan?"

"Yes, I'll become your padawan."

End of flashback

"Lambert!" Called out Master Zhar, "You're done for the day."

Lukas immediately opened his mouth to argue that he could continue. Then he caught the sight of Kavar off to one side. Blue eyes watched him with an unreadable expression. 

Instead of arguing Lukas huffed in annoyance and headed for the doors. He clipped his lightsaber to his belt. As he approached the doors opened and he came face to face with Revan. 

Revan was an 18 year old human male with dark brown hair and light green eyes. Being only a few years older than Lukas he was considered a prodigy and was about to face his trials to become a Knight. Unlike Lukas the older boy wasnt avoided by the Masters. In fact many sought him out in order to train him. 

Lukas honestly liked Revan but that didnt equate to trusting him. They sparred together on a regular basis. Always when Revan was alone. Never when he was being followed by Alek. 

Something had changed in Alek with the comings of war. Revan couldnt see it but Lukas could. The other was looking for a reason to join the fight. Not as a way to stop the Mandalorians but for the want of battle. 

He respected Alek immensely but he could not bring himself to be around that. To want war for the sake of war itself war terrible. It would only infest those around them. 

Lukas was unsure what he would do if Revan asked him to go to war. Revan was supposed to take his trials in a few days then he would likely be sent to the front. To decide how things were progressing out there. A Knight not a padawan would have to go then report back to the Council. 

Lukas's hands shook at the thought of losing one of the few people who had his respect. What if he didnt come back? If Lukas didnt go with him guilt would eat at him. Even more than it already was. 

Revan gave him an easy going smile as he greeted, "Lukas, good afternoon."

"Good afternoon, Revan," returned Lukas, "Excuse me."

"Of course," replied the other as he stepped aside.

Lukas rubbed a hand down his face as he entered the hallway. This was getting too much again. He needed to feel nothing again and become numb. Scars littered his arms from other attempts to become numb and gain some semblance of control. He knew Shioon not approve of this method but he wasnt there anymore. There wasnt any other way to make his emotions go away however. 

Slowly he made his way to room. Once there he moved to where his bag was. In it was a knife that had been given to him by Shioon. He pulled the knife from the bag eyeing the blade carefully. Shioon took him on several survival trips and taught him to use it. Maybe he should go out... no he needed to be numb again. Or he may lose control over himself within the Force. 

Lukas pulled off his robe before he sat on the floor. Then rolled up the sleeve of his shirt. All the way from his wrist to the elbow had raised skin with scars. Some were more ragged than others. Choosing a spot he used the knife to cut deep into his arm. 

Kavar's POV 

Something was wrong. The Force was urging him to go after the boy. He wasnt sure what was going on but he knew better than to ignore the prompting of the Force. 

Kavar followed Lukas to his room. For a few moments he hesitated before going up to the door. As he raised his fist to knock when he felt a flare of pain across the Force. Then there was nothing it was as if the boy was gone. 

Worry filled him and he pushed open the door. Most of the time Masters could not enter a room of a padawan without permission. Due to Kavar's position he was allowed access to any room. He had enough reason to enter unannounced with what he felt through the Force. 

Blue eyes widened as he took in the sight in the room. Lukas was sitting on the floor with his back to the bed. Dull blue eyes looked up at him but Kavar was focused on the boy's arm. 

Immediately he rushed to the boy's side and dropped to his knees. He put pressure on the wound to try and stop the bleeding. There was a groan from the boy and with his free arm Lukas tried to push him off. It only made the master hold all the tighter. 

Upon further inspection the wound wasnt as deep as he thought. Definitely not enough to kill the boy. It would scar even with the help of a kolto patch. With Force Healing it would scar worse but it would be mostly healed. All he would need to do is lightly wrap it. 

Focusing on the Force he allowed it to flow through him into the wound. Dulled blue eyes watched in surprise and slight fear as the wound closed. 

Dully the boy asked, "Why? It would have healed on it's own."

Kavar took his hand away checking the wound. It was closed now but too much movement would open it up again. He tore the sleeve of his robe to make a makeshift bandage. 

Once it was secured that was when he turned his eyes to Lambert. 

He said taking a deep breath to keeping himself from alienating the boy further, "I promise Master Vrook that I would watch and participate in the initiate and padawan trainings. When you left the Force directed me to follow you. I entered when I felt your pain through the force. I'm sorry I entered without permission but i was worried."

Lambert snorted, "Force works in mysterious ways I guess. Why does it care what happens to me? I know what I'm doing."

Kavar leaned his back against the bed as he said, "I'm not so certain that the Force doesnt have a sense of humor. Afterall it brought me back to Dantooine during this time. And the other members of the Council seems intent on me gaining a padawan."

"And they want me to choose another master," came the pained admission of a child. 

His head turned away from Kavar and the light glinted on the scar across his cheek. Unlike the others it was not self inflicted. It was a wound that had been received in battle. A vibroblade if he had to guess. 

The way Lambert carried himself made it difficult to remember that he was still a child. One who had lost his master at a young age. That left a scar that would never fully heal. 

Kavar sighed, "You know if you ever need someone to talk to..."

"Dont bother," growled the boy, "Revan has already given me that talk."

Kavar sighed as he stood brushing the dirt off his pants, "I mean it, Lambert. You can talk to me. I'm an outsider. A third party that holds no judgement. Anything said will stay between us."

The younger seemed to search his gaze before he responded gruffly, "I'll think about it."


End file.
